We are genius, yes? No?

by Ashish

According to an article published sometime back in the Times of India, Pune will become the first city in the country to have a world class intelligent traffic management system.

Speaking to the press while making this momentous announcement, the Bureaucrat in Charge of General Idiocy stated that our proud city had taken a march on Kolkata, which would be the second city to have the wonderful system in place. The Intelligent system had been put in place, the BiCoGI said, to counter the lack of intelligence shown by everybody else connected with traffic.

Speed violations could be tracked by this system, he went on to inform the bemused gathering, presumably to ensure that if any intrepid driver did manage to overcome the specially installed potholes and get into second gear, he would be caught immediately. If this occurs with regular frequency, the automated system will also suggest installation of additional potholes by means of a high-end analytical dashboard.

The system can track upto 100 buses – which has thrown the erstwhile PMT into a tizzy, since they’ll have to come up with that many buses in time. It has 15 screens in a centralized office at Swargate to track movements in the city, assuming such rare events do occur. If not, each of the 15 screens will also be equipped with Tata Sky Plus, to avoid data redundancies.

When queried about focusing on other, more obvious traffic related problems to start with, such as better roads, more parking etc., the official peevishly replied that this did not come under their responsibility. The official was then struck with an unfortunate disease that rendered most other questions inaudible.

This system would be in play, he said with a straight face, in about two months. He expressed his belief that the city of Pune would benefit greatly from such an advanced Intelligent system.

Oh, and I almost forgot to mention this. It can track garbage trucks. Really.